perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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