You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
