Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
