I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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