I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
