Jerry, you need to find god
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Dick very happy bro
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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