I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
