In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize