nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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