It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
