So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
