i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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