why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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