I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I can't turn off my feet"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have aggressive nipples.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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