Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
