Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
