I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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