i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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