im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
