a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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