the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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