love makes seman taste better
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
