I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
