weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize