Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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