I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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