just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we made out on top of his cat.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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