Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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