woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
