Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize