hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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