If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
