can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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