and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
