dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
