Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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