I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize