i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
