I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
