all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
