Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(712): View more from Iowa

I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga

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(773): View more from Illinois

My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.

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(518): View more from New York

you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved

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(925): View more from California

These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Is there a law against that?

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.

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(406): View more from Montana

we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig

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(407): View more from Florida

It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.

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(716): View more from New York

Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at

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(562): View more from California

Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad

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