Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
