You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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