I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
