I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
