please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
