I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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