He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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