Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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