Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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