the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She needs sedatives and a leash
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize