he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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