Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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