oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
