I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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