she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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