Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
