I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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