we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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