I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
